Top Ten O.J. Simpson Robbery Excuses

With everyone semi-interested to see how this O.J. Simpson robbery deal plays out, I figured we should at least poke a little more fun at O.J. until he is permanently behind bars.  Once he’s locked up, we can REALLY crack on him with worrying about whether or not he is going to hunt us down like wild animals.

Anyway, here are the Top Ten O.J. Simpson Excuses as I copied down from the Late Show with David Letterman last night:

10. “It was a rare lapse in judgement.”

9. “Thought what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”

8. “Felt like committing a crime, but wasn’t in a stabby mood.”

7. “Honestly, I miss the prison lasagna.”

6. “Distraught after getting turned down for a hosting gig on The View.”

5. “Thought kidnapping would really round out my resume.”

4. “The real robbery is the mini-bar prices, am I right people?”

3. “Too much soup!”

2. “Oh, like you never conducted a sting operation to steal back stolen sports memorabilia.”

1. “C’mon, it’s not like I killed somebody!”