Audrina Patridge is Distressed

Audrina Patridge is not really distressed, but her jeans most definitely are. You know she paid good money for those well worn jeans. Probably more than you make in a week. But I don’t hate her for it. That would be dumb. I hate her for other stuff, but her body is so hot that I would eat raw hamburger meat off it if she gave me just five minutes with it. Sure, that’s about four—okay, four and a half—more minutes than I’d need, but Audrina Patridge is not the only one with a reputation to uphold. She may need the extra time to sneak out without being seen. And you thought I was inconsiderate.