The idea of Jenni “JWoww” Farley writing a book is even less plausible than the idea of her reading one, but nonetheless the “Jersey Shore” siren has her own guide to landing a guy. “The Rules According to JWoww” is filled with advice for the ladies on how to “get your guido.”

So what are her favorite tips? “Men love a lady who has skills: ‘Let’s be honest — guys say they’re looking for someone pure and respectable to bring home to Mama, but they’re secretly praying she’s a f*****g nympho with a bachelor’s degree in banking.’” OK, since JWoww graduated from the New York Institute of Technology with degrees in computer programming and fine arts and animation, she fits the bill.

Next tip: “Never leave home without condoms, your cell phone, cash and a change of panties.” Well, it never hurts to be prepared. Maybe throw in some disinfectant wipes while you’re at it.

The last tip is hard to disagree with: “’Sloppy drunk’ is not a good look on anyone: You will most likely do something-or somebody-that you’ll regret in the morning.” Could this advice have been inspired by “Shore” castmate Snooki, who reaches this sorry state on practically every episode?

JWoww’s book is available from Amazon in time for Valentine’s Day, but we think we’ll pass. See sexy shots of JWoww after the jump.